I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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