Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
