It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
