oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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