loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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