my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
