He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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