Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just tell him i said nine months
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
