I want to stick my p in your. b.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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