I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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