did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
