new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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