just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
