If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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