break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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