she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
