I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
