clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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