The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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