I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
