I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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