She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
