You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How external is "for external use only"?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
