I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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