Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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