The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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