did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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