Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
