i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
