I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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