There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
