O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
