woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
