He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
