Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
