sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
