problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
