well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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