You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
