Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
