my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
