Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
