I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
