Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
vagina is talking i cant
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
