just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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