hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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