We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
