i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
