While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
