Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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