Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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